If Only I Had Said

My, one-time-friend, I’m sorry
I just wish I could have said-
I just wish I could have voiced,
All the convictions in my head.

Yes, I tried to model them,
But I fit them into my system-
And watered them down so low
That I couldn’t recognize them!

I wish I could have been a better
Example of a true friend,
But all this speculative wishing-
Finds itself a bitter end…

For you are down there screaming
In torment day and night!
Truly, only, for one reason-
MY stupid, selfish, fright.

If only I had said-
I really might have saved you!
But- now you are dead, and
All of my chances are through.

Are you afraid of saying?
Of speaking out your belief?
Learn- PLEASE- from my example,
So you won’t bear this grief!

I bear a load of remorse so great-
If ONLY I’d stepped out and said!
If I had told him of my great God,
He might have been in heaven, instead!

I sat mute and silent, wanting
All the acceptance my friends gave-
But the greatest gift, I with held
And now he mourns in the grave!

Believe me it’s not worth it!
Stick out! Stand up! Be the talk of the town!
And you won’t have my burden-
Weighing you down!

J. L. P.- June 23, 2006