College Harassment

I'm in college now, despite the efforts to keep me fundless and unable to achieve my goals.
But that gripe isnt my story. 
My story is about the systematic harassment that I encounter going to and from my classes.

I am a big-chested, big-rear-ended woman thanks to my family genes (not complaining, just saying.)
I hover around 200lbs on a 5'4 frame that makes my BMI in the "Clinically Obese" range but everyone says that I "carry it well" which means that I look hot despite being "round." (I guess?)

I am attractive, and therefore I attract attention.
NO MATTER what I wear.
Because i have tried ducking into hallways, taking the long way around, using multiple layers, and wearing my stretched-out jeans.  Even in skirts I get accosted.  You know what they tell me?  "You have a beautiful smile."

I have made a conscious decision to not hide.  I am a human being and I should not have to cover myself and take quick detours into the women's bathroom to avoid people I know are following me.  I should not have to be the one to take steps to prevent the sexual harassment I encounter on a daily basis.

EVERY DAY I attend classes I get some form of "compliment."  It is not my classmates, it is the men in the hallways.  When I walk up to the doors I have had men leaving the building open the door, see me coming, and walk back inside in order to walk past me when I enter the building. 

I had two men vie for me to walk through the door they took great pains to hold open (there were two doors and both were being held open).  When I walked through the one closest to me (giving the guy a quick "thank you") the guy holding open the other door said (as I remember it) "Shoot, you can always pick my door next time, darling."
The same 3 minutes after that happened (Thursday, so yesterday) I was walking straight to the library to print out some papers to submit and three men rounded the corner to the library about 50 feet before I got there.  I almost ducked away, but reminded myself I was not required to hide.  I kept my pace and kept my eyes on the floor about 10 feet in front of me. 
Every single one of the three men said "hi" to me, two using a term of endearment, as we passed.  I nodded at them and kept walking.  One asked over his shoulder (as I kept walking) if he could come with me wherever I was going.  I retorted that they were walking the wrong way, and quickly sped up my pace, turned the corner and ran into the library.

Frequently, an older guy (30, maybe?) finds it nice to pass me (every Tuesday, I swear he waits in the hallway for me to come in, whatever time I arrive he is there) and ask me to smile.  Like somehow I am required to share my smile with him.  He insisted on asking me my name (and at first I didnt realize the pattern and gave it to him) and always catches up to me "Hey, _____, how are you? You have such a pretty smile..." 

I go to classes at my own risk, despite daily being accosted and sexually harassed because of issues out of my control.  It messes with my peace of mind and ability to focus on school because they think they have the right to see me only as a sexual being. 
But I guess none of that matters because "Boys will be Boys" and all that other claptrap that they tell women in order to keep the system in place. 
Did any of those men have a right to call me "sweetie" or "darling"?  Do I have the right to tell them to stop eyeing me like a piece of meat?  Can I slap them in the face next time they accost me?
Or is is just "simple flirtation" and I am the one being all inflammatory?
https://twitter.com/other_echoes/status/378596898401443840/photo/1

Recent Activity

I am very much alive and still a functioning human being.
I have not been blogging, preferring to use commenting on other people's blogs as a method of expressing myself.

However, I did recently submit and article for Homeschoolers Anonymous for one of their series.

I have joined their cause whole-heartedly, having been homechooled through high school in many states and a different country.  They are the voice of awareness and reason.  For FAR too many years only the positives (which have not all been true) have been allowed to be expressed about homeschooling.  The fear of being taken away by CPS and the idea that homeschooling was not a viable educational alternative made people circle the wagons and aim all guns outward.

However, this isolation and "us vs. them" ideology that was drilled into many homeschooled children (now adults) sometimes did more harm than good.  Even if it was only a small amount of harm and a large amount of good, there was harm done.  In pursuit of "do no evil," homeschooled adults are now speaking up about their experiences in hopes that people will listen and think before making any of the mistakes that happened to them.  If pain, suffering, educational neglect, and abuse can be prevented: we wish with all our heart to prevent it. 
H.A. is not all negativity and readers are welcome to share positives in their upcoming series "A Week of Joy."
I will attempt to contribute, although writing out my thoughts has been more of a toll than I expected.  I am spending more time playing free Cell than writing.  It is like a mind trip to find positives and then not immediately jump into the "but anyway" that is dismissive and excuses all the pain and hurt. (learned that from therapy!  Sharing a hurt and changing topics with "...but ANYWAY...." you are dismissing what you said previously and negating it.  Fun fact)

AKA, even though there was bad, mentioning positives does not dismiss the good and does not outweigh the good making the bad inadmissible.
But there was a lot good.  And I know that this good is what made me the good person that I am and cause my former co-workers to tell my mother repeatedly "You raised a wonderful girl" when I brought her around to work last year.

A Work of Artifice

The bonsai tree
in the attractive pot
could have grown eighty feet tall
on the side of a mountain
till split by lightning.
But a gardener
carefully pruned it.
It is nine inches high.
Every day as he
whittles back the branches
the gardener croons,
It is your nature
to be small and cozy,
domestic and weak;
how lucky, little tree,
to have a pot to grow in.
With living creatures
one must begin very early
to dwarf their growth:
the bound feet,
the crippled brain,
the hair in curlers,
the hands you
love to touch. 

 Marge Piercy

I have been silent for a long time.
I am thinking of posting occasionally on this blog as I feel able.
I write one article recently for Homeschoolers Anonymous.
Its not something I have EVER talked about, and most people in my life have no idea.
WE shall see what the future holds.

Long Time No See!

Hey there, readers!

I have been busy living this month. I have been working a lot and making a routine for myself.
I am happy.

The place I am working at is allowing us to dress up for halloween. I was thinking I would go in a baggy skirt and oversize t-shirt, but there are some hippies and people who shop there who dress that way by religion, so I figured it would be insensitive.

I then decided to dress in my square-dancing outfit (not really a costume, but still) but they said I looked more like a gypsy. I loved the idea, so I am painting my fingernails a bright red, I went out and bought some big gold bangles and gold necklaces, and I already have this long black skirt with bells on the waist ties!
It will be the first time I ever dress up, so I am excited and am having heaps of fun.

One of the most interesting posts about halloween and what its significance as a holiday means.

I am doing what many people do with Halloween: Put on a monster mask, confront what you fear, celebrate it for a day and then, move on.

Timing

I guess this post will be a little rant to myself about timing.

I really really like to make my own schedules and design my life and make sure all my ducks are in neat rows. The thing is that God often does not agree with me. I mean seriously, if only He knew what I was thinking, the good intentions I had, and the goals I was working towards!

However, as I am learning to rest in His timing and His planning, I am learning that He is all-sufficient. He really has my best at heart. He will provide, and when He blesses.... I fall to my knees in amazement. My heart is safe with Him!

Thanks, again, Heavenly Father, for everything. I know you are working things out for me.
Silly little me, who you care so much about.
Your grace and love are overwhelming and I know Your promises will hold.
Every step of my journey is lit by Your plans for me.
Your guiding has not always been easy to see, but I follow with joy.

New Favorite Song

So today we went out to a Christian Bookstore to find out if they stocked a book dear to my heart (they didn't. They only stock "Christian Publishers") and I found some reduced price CD's!!!!

Barlow Girl is not my normal taste, but this song is really interesting:

YES, this blog is dying

I have moved on in the real world as well as in the blogging world.


I have left home and am now making my way in the big, scary world outside of home.
I may get on here and post updates. It depends.

I am enjoying new opportunities and learning things that I never knew before. Learning what NOT to say and do (at least they forgive me when I said something really bad, but they won't tell me what I just said because they are laughing so hard)

The worst part about not knowing these things is that everyone assumes you do. Like being an MK all over again. You look like you "fit in" but inside you don't, and people are shocked when you don't. I have to repeat my story to people about once a day because they forget. I am an independent 20 year old, why wouldn't I know what x-type of drink was....

Live and learn, they say. I guess I have not lived yet, because I am woefully short on the knowledge....

Packing

Packing boxes is one of the things missionary's do best!!

We are packing up our belongings again.
It is amazing how many things you aquire in life that fill up space yet never produce or result in anything positive. I have thrown out a lot of things in the past week which my pack-rat self has stored and miser-like hoarded for years.
I also threw out those "projects" which I have the tendency to begin, yet never finish because the inspiration fades. You probably would not believe the things I once planned on doing.
One hard thing for me right now is throwing away books.
I love books, but like my projects, I gather them and fail to read them. I have books on cheese. Does that make any sense? It is an old, falling apart book which has little value except for the information it contains. I guess I once wanted to make cheese!

Packing is an exercise of the will, because it drastically cuts into your comfort zone. How easy is it to put everything you own into brown packages and not use it for another 6 months or forever? It reduces the value of the material things and puts you back to the basics.

...there fore with food and raiment....let us be content!

Random Funny of the Day

A word of counsel from the Bible for any single males looking for wives:

15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife

Knee update:

This morning I went to York to get an X-ray of my knee. It has been giving me fits off and on since Thanksgiving, and it has been over a year since the accident.

The difference between and X-ray and a cat-scan is that an Xray takes a small area and looks at it, but a cat-scan is one's whole body.
The difference between an X-ray and an MRI is that the X-ray sees calcium, but an MRI can see ligaments and other internal organs.

All the X-rays looked fine, but for some reason the kneecap seems to ride slightly off center. Pulls, maneuvering, and muscle contortions did not hurt me, so the Doctor thought it might be something that Physical Therapy could handle. If three months of PT doesn't help me out, I will be going back for an MRI to see if anything is REALLY wrong with my knee.

I am going to the PT center nearby on Thursday.

WE shall see.

Snowtires

You might have heard.....but this area of the country is getting a mite of snow...

Ok....a good deal of snow....


OOOOKKKKK!!
About 10 times more snow than normal!!

In fact, so much snow that schools and churches were cancelling all activities, PenDot trucks were working full-blast, and roads were closed!

Tuseday, we were caught in the beginnings of a 24hour blizzard about 20 miles from home. (In fact, it was only 17, but rounding up is smoother) The snow was scheduled to begin at 2, but it didn't start till about 3:30. By 4 pm roads were clogged and we were stuck on a two-lane road trying to get to the library. We got there (well, not ME, but I will get to that later!) 3 minutes after closing time, and just as they were locking up.
However, we did make the post office. Well, we made the post office at 4. But the line was so long I went in to take my brother's place. Then my little sister came in to tell me that the rest of them were going to try to get the 1 or so mile to the library before it closed at 5. This was at about 4:15, and as I was finally 2nd in line. In three minutes the business was done, and so we sat down on the side to wait for the return of mother, siblings and car. Then, I get a phone call.
"Come meet us" she says. "We are only about 50 feet down the road."
I can't help but groan. The conditions are nearing whiteout in the deepening darkness. And I am wearing stockings and flats...
I set out quickly....watching to not slip, and trying to traverse the snow drifts from the previous 3ft of snow and the 1 inch already on the sidewalks.
"Should we pull into Dairy Queen and let you catch up?" she asks
"No, get to the library before it closes!! We'll catch up!!"
"But I have a green light!"
She goes through the light, and we come to a place where the sidewalk disappears and 3 feet of snow stretch for 10 feet to the roadway packed with cars.
I hesitated too long...there was no catching up now!
Sister and I finally reach and sit down in Dairy Queen.
After about 15 minutes we get a call....the library was closed (see above)
After another 10 or so minutes we run across to the other side of the street and get in the car.

2 plus hours later we finally pull into our driveway.
We need better snow tires!!

Of viruses and scissors

I have become very adept with scissors lately. I think I should hire myself out!
When our dogs had puppies, we began to have a huge need for newspapers for them to learn on and to clean up other newspapers with. Along with newspapers come ads, and with many ads come coupons.
My mother had been thinking about coupon-ing for "a while now" (as she put it) and so this sudden source of something more to do (like we didn't have anything else to do in the first place) has swamped us....especially lately.

At first I would take the hundred pages of adds and cut out everything. Mother would come along later and sort and categorize them into little envelope holders. This quickly became an obvious waste of both our time, and the little envelope things were hard to find things in and much to cramped for easy separating of the coupons we DID want.
Then came the Coupon Binder (basically a zippered folder with hundreds of pages of baseball-card-holder clear plastic sheets). With most of the coupons in full view, our only problem was to find enough space for everything (that binder can hardly close).
HOWEVER:
With a new method came changes to the cutting came changes in the filing. We now stay up until 3 or even 6 am (and sometimes even 2 nights in a row) laying out the pages and putting all the same ones on top of eachother. We then pick which ones we keep (yes, we have become very picky!) and cut them out, and lay them on a 12" by 4' (yes: 12 inches by 4 feet) line of paper with an average coupon space and a category title. Then, my job is done, but Mother then spends (approx.) another 3-5 hours taking each category and filing it into little baseball card slots in the binder.

Which way is more arranged? Which is quicker?
Who knows.

But, in case you thought that was it...think again!
After this, Mother goes through all the store adds or online sites with adds already categorized (or both, definitely both more often) and matches coupons up with sales, or rebates/register rewards (or both).

Then comes the process of going to these stores (often taking along "Oh, no, mommy is going to spend hours here again" kids), finding the items, getting the right (and enough) coupons from the binder, and then making sure that the prices ring up right. (you would not believe how many times "sale" items do not ring up as on sale)
Then comes the wonderful times when the stores have sold out of the certain item you were hoping to get. Then you have to get rain checks, or ask to substitute....

In all it is a time-consuming menace to sleep and sanity, but you either spend a lot of money and a short amount of time, or a lot of time and little to no money.

We have a list of at least 10 "everyday" items (makeup, soap, floss, etc.) that we will never buy unless it is free. Yes, completely free. I won't even pay 50cents for $8-$10 makeup, because I would rather wait and get it free! :P

Overall the time invested has great dividends, and while it feels like we are getting a TON of stuff, we have not exceeded our "normal" monthly grocery bill.
And I am very picky about what scissors I use. Only the ones that fit my hand nicely! :P

SO

On to the first part of the title of this post:
I hate viruses. My computer was recently stricken by some sort of virus that masqueraded as a "security" device and virus scan. As I kept exiting the annoying pop-up windows (I was not aware that it was a virus at the time), it began opening windows on Internet Explorer for online sites. (I am a Firefox user, even though IE has caught up with the tabs, etc.)

I finally realized it was a virus when the computer would suddenly shut off, and when it would sit on a boot-up page for an hour before finally turning on.
*insert me rolling my eyes

My dear, amazing, (sometimes?) gentlemanly, debonair, and kind older brother promptly took (my/his) computer to wherever he was going where he gutted it, and began to try to fix the hard drive. When that did not work (I cannot remember all the things he tried to do, it was as much as I could do to try not to laugh when he said he tried to install windows XP onto his tumbdrive) he then replaced the harddrive (ie. got a whole new one) and rebooted all the necessities and handed me a brand spanking clean laptop. :D

SO, hopefully from now on I shall have more consistent and faster blogposts!

Update on...

Update on the hip, and elbow, and... well, just watch out for ice, okay? I am hurting just about all over my right side. My praise is that it was not my left side. If my left leg had been the one to slide out I would probably be incapacitated still instead of bruised and aching.

Life so far: Update on the knee and hair

I have been absent again, but I had an enforced computer absence for other reasons. *grimace*

The turkey "holy-days" were grueling as far as constant movement and standing. My knee was in pretty fragile condition after them. The food was plentiful, but I found that I could not eat as much as I might have. Baking takes away my appetite. BUT, I did snack on cookies for the next 3 weeks!

Life these days is all-or-nothing. One day will be a complete drag, with nothing going on and nothing significant to do, and the next is full-throttle all day. Then comes weeks like this week, where Monday was blah, and then from Tuesday afternoon until Thursday night I had enough time to breate, but not to shower. (I curled and hair-sprayed my hair on Tue, and then had to make it do until Th. night. I couldn't brush out the spray, and I didn't have time for a shower! The curls had melted by 11pm anyway, so I was left with a "beach"shag that melted and frizzed anytime I tried to "do" something with it. Maybe this is what "afro" hair feels like?) I but on a self-made-crocheted beret on Wed, which may or may not have helped anything, and on Th, I put it in a ponytail and tired a western hat to hide the grease.
Moving on--------

My knee has also been in high demand for our weekply Square Dance sessions in preparation for the PA Farm Show competition being held Jan. 11th. For the first time in 3 years (as long as I have been with this group) and for the first time in....well....as long as anyone else can remember--there have been more guys than girls. Even some of the girls who dance (or prefer to dance) in the "boy" position (it does not really matter, as long as they use thier hands right) have had to switch over. Therefore, I have to dance all the time, every dance, whereas I had been able to sit out when not needed previously (I am a good 2 years older than most of the kids, so I come in as a "helper" when necessary). Last week I took medecine and danced without consequences (so I thought). Then, as I lay down to sleep, the medecine had had time to wear off, and my knee began to inform me of the drastic things I required of it...
Lets just say I slept fitfully that night.

This week.....I forgot to take anything. And I was a suddenly a very akward dancer. Besides being careful about what moves to make on dances that I was woefully unfamiliar with. Not only are there a whole bunch of new people (which can be good), but most of the new people are very young children who did not learn calls, or missed beginning weeks, or mixed up the calls, or forgot them since. This makes for some really messy squares. AND most of all, it makes for super slow weeks. Up until this week we had not done all the dances in a row...and this week was filled with mistakes and re-teaching easy stuff (a slide-through? OK, so I admit I was the one getting this wrong, but I had never danced slide-though boy, before!!) , and finally giving up on the break square (where everyone whi is NOT dancing this time dances to keep up on what is going on).

Today there is a big snow, which cancels the party I was supposed to be going to.
It is now scheduled for the 9th. Which speaking of boring-and-then-full-throttle...I have something going on then. And on the 10th is a final practice, and the 11th is the Farm Show....
Pass the Ibuprofen!

Isaiah 57:15

For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:

“ I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Job 23:13-16

¹³ “But He is unique, and who can make Him change?
And whatever His soul desires, that He does.

¹⁴ For He performs what is appointed for me,
And many such things are with Him.

¹⁵ Therefore I am terrified at His presence;
When I consider this, I am afraid of Him.

¹⁶ For God made my heart weak,
And the Almighty terrifies me;

*********ALL CELEBRATE FOR MY 300th POST!!!!!

The Complete Opposite

I would really like to know why young (particularly unmarried) females always get told that their worst nightmare will surely happen to them?

I am sure you know what I mean.

I have often noted (out loud) things that I dislike and/or abhor in people or things.

Without fail (try it sometime!!!) some person in my family or surrounding will point out to me (in the most serious tone of voice) how I should not say/think such things.

Why?

Because (so they say) "Just watch! You are going to marry someone who is a _______ or who does ______ (that thing which you abhor or dislike)
Yes, dear friends: I am most definitely doomed to marry a math-loving, semi-truck-driving, chemistry-and-physics whiz husband.

I am sorry, but I have forgotten the other sure traits that I have been bound to.

Anyone with the said qualifications, please feel free to call me!

Seriously, now! Why is it that when a person dislikes or does not appreciate certain things, she is told that she must marry/be eternally bound to that exact thing? Would it not make more sense for her to choose someone who would not annoy/scare her? (yes, semi-trucks are scary!!! VERY scary!!!!)

While I do have a list of "Things-I-Want-In-A-Future-Husband", they do NOT include math, semi-trucks, or the deeper realms of physics, chemistry, or complicated formulas and x-y-m equations. If you would like to marry me and have an overwhelming love for those areas.....well.....I can't promise anything, but I would like to warn you in the beginning you have a handicap to overcome!

Yard Sale thoughts

Over Labor Day weekend, we had a yard sale, trying to rid ourselves of excess clothing and other items, and I assisted in tending to the customers.

One such lady was asking questions and pawing through piles of books and toys, when she turned to me and said:
"Are you a christian girl?"
Hesitant to accept an oftentimes questionable label, and not wanting to ask her her definition, I asked her to repeat it, hoping to acertain her meaning from her tone.
"Are you a Christian girl?" She said again, with a tone like one would use when asking about an "American Girl" doll.
"Yeees...." I said slowly, then smiled brightly, hoping I hadn't just done something rather stupid.
"I could tell" she blurted out quickly
"Huh?" (she did talk in short fast bursts....)
"I knew you were. Your face"
"My face?"
"Your countenance"
(I knew then she had at least SOME Biblical knowledge)
"Oh........thank you......"

At this point in time she began telling me about her family, and the dreadful state of affairs she found to be her lot in life. Her son had gotten 3 young ladies with child (so far-- she added. Me: !!!!!!!!!!!) and her daugter (saved at two and went to Sunday School all her life) was now a drug addict/agnostic/complete rebel and more (somewhat similar) tales about the rest of her family.

I listened and nodded, and tried to explain "What kind of a church you go to", and symathetically agreed with her bemoaning of the local church bodies and thier failure to teach/keep converts.

A young lady I know just told me today that when people dish out thier troubles to yourn people they are usually wishing that thier children were like the young people. I found that somewhat amusing and sad.
I still fail to understand these pale-faces.

Free-card

It is here, folks!!!!

FREEDOM!!!! Freedom from having to pay that is!!!
Get this card and your life will be over! (at least, your life as a debtor!)