Thursday, September 17, 2009


So, I left PA around two in the afternoon. The train to Pittsburg was FREEZING COLD. I worked on a project and tried to avoid the urge to pull out a heavy sweater from my bag (and thus rearrange the entire thing.....).

I then spent 4 hours in a Pitts. train station (It was supposed to be 3, but the train was an hour late... hoorah) trying to stay awake. I read some, listened to Philippians in Cebuano, and ate a lot of my snacks.

Around 1 am I finally got settled in the train and tried to sleep. Once again, it was cold. It was much warmer than the first train, but it was NOT warm enough to sleep. I finally went down (yes, it was a nice double-decker train!!) to the bottom of the train and pulled out my blanket. It took a while to get warm enough, but I finally found a comfortable position, and fell asleep.
I woke up around 8 am (7 am then.... I love crossing time zones!), and saw the flat, very brown plains of Indiana crawling by. Quite literally, we were not going much faster than 60 mph....

Around 10...errr I mean....9 we arrived in Chicago. I then realized that I had completely forgotten the name of the road I needed to walk down to reach the Metra Station. I tried calling for help, but somehow my need got misinterpreted, and the noise made it more than hard to understand everything. I finally found a map and headed out into the street. However, the road around Sears (now Willis) Tower was closed, so I headed out and around it....ho-rah again....

I rested for a time when I got half-way, and then pushed. My knee did hurt. My hand hurt more, though from pulling my big huge bag! I got to the station, and my friend picked me up and I am now spending two days with her! I think that I would hate college...and probably dorm life in its entirety. I don't really mind it right now, but I think living for some time like this would drive me insane. lol Random observation of the day.

On the bright side (watch for the pun) I got to sit for about an hour out in the bright sunshine....which was wonderful. Being warm all over....after freezing on trains and having a 20 degree drop in temperature from the summer highs.
Oh, and thanks to the random college guy who walked by who was talking to his friend. He says that it will not get above 80 degrees anymore this year.... Can I die already?)

Tomorrow I head north to catch a dear family for about 24 hours before I head to Hinsdale for Journey to the heart. Later this afternoon---Photoshoot!!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009


My knee was improving.
I hardly ever felt it.
I could climb up and down chairs, lift, carry, and stand for longer and longer periods of time.


One night, around 4 in the morning, I woke (for only the second time in my life, I think, and both since that knee injury) with severe cramps in my left calf. It didn't last long, but it felt like forever. the next two days I limped around (and drove the car up and down the Eastern Continental Divide) and hoped that it would subside.

It did....somewhat....and then got progressively worse and worse.

I confess that I cannot really remember how much it hurt me when I was first injured. As I can remember, I rated it below my Staff Infections and above...well...moving on!

So, based on that forgetfulness, I am trying to discern whether it is not hurting/impairing my abilities more than it did originally. I will feel a "tingle" when it is about to really hurt, and right about then the wisest thing to do is sit down. I found out yesterday (last night) (previous to this I had always sat down soon) that ignoring that has serious consequences.
I was "Squeezo Straining" our latest batch of Roma tomatoes, when I felt that tingle. Now, it is not easily seen through the link, but the Squeezo clamps onto the side of a table, and you turn the crank-handle to squish the pulp and juice out of the tomato and the large screw pulls the skins and seeds out the other end. Standing is necessary. Standing is incumbent upon being able to push/turn this thing. Also, I didn't want to stop and do this at a later. It was late, I was tried....I wanted to finish this thing.

So, I stayed standing, and kept on squeezo-ing these tomatoes.

In time, the tingling turns to pain, and the pain shoots up and down my leg, and then my whole calf muscle starts cramping. I try to ignore this. I can handle pain. I shifted all my weight onto my right leg (which overcompensating in the past has made my right leg hurt almost as bad as my left.
It doesn't stop. I finally have to take a break and sit down, doubled over, trying to massage my calf/knee trying to make it stop hurting. When it did, I stood back up and finished....only, this whole cramping thing happened again.

My leg was really mad at me all of last night. I had it elevated, and I stayed up late hoping that it would subside enough (I hate trying to fall asleep with my knee elevated!!!) so that I could sleep. I finally got in bed around 2:30 in the morning, and the little tingle pains played tag all up and down my leg until I fell asleep.

I am wondering: What DID I do to my leg!! I went to see a doctor, who basically told me that it could not be an ACL tear...even though I heard a "pop", because I was not incapacitated... and that only an X-ray could really tell what I HAD done.

I am leaving to spend about 2 weeks in Chicago, visiting friends and going to a camp/seminar, in less than a week. That necessitates carrying my bags, hopping on and off trains, and walking around a good deal.
I really don't have time to get a doctor's appointment in....should I push for it? What could it tell me that would help me? Could they solve it in any way other than "take this pill" or "stay off your feet"?
Should I go and hope that pain medication can get me through (which is what doctors might prescribe)? Should I go, but cut back on anything that is not essential?

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Complete Opposite

I would really like to know why young (particularly unmarried) females always get told that their worst nightmare will surely happen to them?

I am sure you know what I mean.

I have often noted (out loud) things that I dislike and/or abhor in people or things.

Without fail (try it sometime!!!) some person in my family or surrounding will point out to me (in the most serious tone of voice) how I should not say/think such things.


Because (so they say) "Just watch! You are going to marry someone who is a _______ or who does ______ (that thing which you abhor or dislike)
Yes, dear friends: I am most definitely doomed to marry a math-loving, semi-truck-driving, chemistry-and-physics whiz husband.

I am sorry, but I have forgotten the other sure traits that I have been bound to.

Anyone with the said qualifications, please feel free to call me!

Seriously, now! Why is it that when a person dislikes or does not appreciate certain things, she is told that she must marry/be eternally bound to that exact thing? Would it not make more sense for her to choose someone who would not annoy/scare her? (yes, semi-trucks are scary!!! VERY scary!!!!)

While I do have a list of "Things-I-Want-In-A-Future-Husband", they do NOT include math, semi-trucks, or the deeper realms of physics, chemistry, or complicated formulas and x-y-m equations. If you would like to marry me and have an overwhelming love for those areas.....well.....I can't promise anything, but I would like to warn you in the beginning you have a handicap to overcome!

Yard Sale thoughts

Over Labor Day weekend, we had a yard sale, trying to rid ourselves of excess clothing and other items, and I assisted in tending to the customers.

One such lady was asking questions and pawing through piles of books and toys, when she turned to me and said:
"Are you a christian girl?"
Hesitant to accept an oftentimes questionable label, and not wanting to ask her her definition, I asked her to repeat it, hoping to acertain her meaning from her tone.
"Are you a Christian girl?" She said again, with a tone like one would use when asking about an "American Girl" doll.
"Yeees...." I said slowly, then smiled brightly, hoping I hadn't just done something rather stupid.
"I could tell" she blurted out quickly
"Huh?" (she did talk in short fast bursts....)
"I knew you were. Your face"
"My face?"
"Your countenance"
(I knew then she had at least SOME Biblical knowledge)
"Oh........thank you......"

At this point in time she began telling me about her family, and the dreadful state of affairs she found to be her lot in life. Her son had gotten 3 young ladies with child (so far-- she added. Me: !!!!!!!!!!!) and her daugter (saved at two and went to Sunday School all her life) was now a drug addict/agnostic/complete rebel and more (somewhat similar) tales about the rest of her family.

I listened and nodded, and tried to explain "What kind of a church you go to", and symathetically agreed with her bemoaning of the local church bodies and thier failure to teach/keep converts.

A young lady I know just told me today that when people dish out thier troubles to yourn people they are usually wishing that thier children were like the young people. I found that somewhat amusing and sad.
I still fail to understand these pale-faces.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009


The title is actually misleading. because it was today, 5 years ago, that I am thinking of.

5 years ago, I took one last look at everything I had ever called "home."
5 years ago, I left everything I loved that did not fit in my allotted portion of the 70lb boxes we could take on the airplane.
5 years ago, I gave my cats one last hug, and never saw them again.
5 years ago, I turned away, and stepped into the waiting van.
5 years ago, I stepped into an airplane.
5 years ago, that airplane lifted me high up and 11 thousand miles away from all of that.
5 years ago, I lost my heart somewhere in that green-and-white-and-blue ocean and island.
5 years ago, I buried it deep, where no one could find it. Maybe it is not dead, though. Maybe someone found it and kept it safe for me.
5 years ago, I wanted to die.
5 years ago, today, was the hardest day of my life.

Are these wounds healed? Have I found a new life and meaning here in this country? Has God been working in me?
To answer the last question: Yes
To answer the first question: No, otherwise I would not be weeping my heart out as I type.
As for the middle question: I don't know. I have tried to understand and reach out and be acceptable. I still feel like an outsider, a loner, and a foreigner. I have formed some deep friendships. But my roots are still volatile. In shock. Fearful. Distrusting.

Life is never easy. But today, as it was 5 years ago, life is intolerable.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009


It is here, folks!!!!

FREEDOM!!!! Freedom from having to pay that is!!!
Get this card and your life will be over! (at least, your life as a debtor!)